July 8 recap
By Marc Brafman
In an abbreviated schedule last night Team Fogel defeated Team Schwartz 11-7. After falling behind 2-0 early, Team Fogel came back with an offensive flurry led by their two rookies. Adam “Knecht the dots” and Chris Kunkel. “In my everyday life I work with recycled parts and scraps of metal at Cohen. this year I didn’t want to go after the same old guys, so I tried out the rookies and so far, the results have been very promising,” said Captain Joel Fogel. “The K boys last night led the way for our team. Not to be left out Brad “The Gallop(ing) Ghost” also had a big two-run single.”
Team Schwartz tried to rekindle their winning ways by drinking one of B-Rods protein shakes before the game made of cramp bark, clover and of course couch grass, but it wasn’t meant to be. “Maybe we should go back to beer and Poweraid,” a dejected Schwartz said post game. “I love me some cramp bark, but it didn’t help us tonight.”
In the other game of the night, Captain Ken Groh reports:
Team Groh scored 4 in the 1st as Castellini, Groh and Baum drove in runs, but Team Lefton matched the 4 and then added another 4 in the 2nd. Stansbury scored again in the 3rd off a sacrifice fly from the captain, but Lefton struck for 3 more to open up an 11-5 lead. After a scoreless 4th inning from both teams, Team Groh plated 5 as hitting stars “Handsome” Sam Castellini went 4-4 with 2 doubles and 5 RBIs and Tyler “Bryce Harper” Stansbury went 3-3 with 4 runs to pace the offense. Mark Franklin had 2 hits and Zach Swadner added 3 and Captain Groh had a couple of hits and drove in 3. In the top of the 6th Swadner and Pete “The Straw that Stirs the Drink” Soltesz both scored on a Stansbury triple and Castellini drove him in to get team Groh a 13-11 lead, but Jimmy Lefton held them to only 1 hit in the 7th and 8th innings. Team Groh thought they had a win in the bottom of the 7th but it slipped away as lightning struck and the top of the order for Team Lefton got the job done scoring the winning run off the bat of Corey “Chuck” Norris. “My main goal was to get a hit and get us out of there,” Norris said post game. “Those wings aren’t going to eat themselves at the Silver Spring House.” Plus, my wife was really hot sitting in the stands, and she was ready to go. Coach Groh added, “I thought our timing was a bit off at the plate and we were a bit off playing defense, but was proud of the guys coming back from 6 down to take the lead and had a chance to win when the game was on the line. I am happy to be playing during difficult times, but I feel this season will be a memorable one! I know the Mad Hungarian would have thrown his glove tonight but because of the heat, i had to conserve my energy!!”
League Notes:
If this year hasn’t been hard enough, let’s take a second and think of about a couple of guys. At last report Jason “The Mad Hungarian” Faust had to go back to the hospital, and while I am waiting to confirm just know he has a long way to go to get back to normal (or as normal as Faust is).
Former Commish Ryan Kirzner’s wife is battling cancer so if you see Jerry ask how he’s doing.
And of course, we all wish Anton a speedy recovery
In other league news we caught up with the Living Legend Howie Schwartz to ask him what he has been up to in his first summer off from softball since JFK was in office was going: “I have been laying low and trying to stay safe. As you know, your dad and I are of the same vintage and that puts us right in the middle of the high-risk class. Not an enviable thing.
Unfortunately, I have not been doing much of anything. Slowly watching my body and muscle mass deteriorate. I certainly miss the softball, both for the physical activity and the camaraderie. I hope the league goes well for all of you playing.
I haven’t done anything to stress my knees, shoulders or arms, so they are feeling fine at the present time. I am already looking forward to making a comeback next year.” We all are too Howie.
In the next installment of “What Roger Has Learned Since the Pandemic Started:” Last week we learned that he discovered cable news. This week, he reports that a blue whale’s tongue weighs as much as a female elephant or about as much as 2 VW beetles, 6 grand pianos or 10 snowmobiles. What this has to do with softball is anyone’s guess, but it’s nice that Roger is broadening his horizons besides what the Joey Votto 2010 MVP bobblehead is worth.
If you want to ask someone who has a very cool job how they do it check in with Tyler “Dire” Wolf as his company Urban Blooms continues to make some amazing in-door plant walls.
It was good to see Eppy out at the Spring House last night. Rick Lefton reports that COVID be damned, it wasn’t going to stop Ep from polishing off 3 plates of wings. In his prime, could Ep out eat Joey Chestnut? I think most of us would like to find out.
I’m pretty sure I saw Big Gig Franklin warming up Trevor Bauer yesterday down at GABP on the Reds spring training feed.
Finally, if you have nothing better to do on Sunday afternoon (and I know most of you don’t), head over to Kemper Field at 1:30 to cheer on “Coach” Mike “Flash” Creemer as he leads his JCC Blue Jays Class B team into the playoffs. All kidding aside, Mike does an amazing job coaching a lot of kids who we all hope one day will fill our league. Good luck this weekend.
Stay safe out there and wear a mask. See ya on the field next week.