OFFSEASON NOTES
by Marc Brafman
Hello guys
Some interesting times we are living in since the last time we all got together. When Eric Gruen can’t go to Disney World for the 100th time you know it’s tough out there. First and foremost, I hope all of you, and your families are healthy and safe. While we all cry over no March Madness and Opening Day being postponed to God knows when, let’s take a step back and review some league notes from the offseason.
First, last year must have been a busy time for some of you off the field as Eric “the Mouth of the Midwest” Gruen, Ryan Small, Zach Meyer and Pete “The Straw that Stirs the Drink” Soltesz all welcomed new additions to their household. Congrats guys.
Stu Solomon has another on the way so it’s good to know that in 16 years or so the league will still be up and running.
More congrats goes to Ryan “Hi-Ho” Silverman on his son’s bar mitzvah. and Jared Kamrass, who recently got married. Mazel Tov to both of you.
And not to be outdone, David “D-Sol” Solomon went all the way back to the homeland of Israel to surprise his girlfriend, now fiancé, by asking her to marry him. The word is he covered himself in Dead Sea mud and crept up on her like the Creature from the Black Lagoon. Since Israel is also the place he got his steroids to turn himself into such a powerful hitter, I expect him to be a very high draft pick this season.
Sad news to report…JCC softball’s first couple Taylor “May the Schwartz Be With You” and Leon “The Bull” Seserman are no longer living together. The Bull reports that Taylor bought a house and moved in with his long time “girlfriend.” But never fear…always the gentleman Taylor is charging his girlfriend rent.
The two guys that are most disappointed by the cancellation of the Summer Olympics are Mike “Flash” Creemer and Tyler “A-Rod” Stansbury. They aren’t upset that the games are postponed. They’re upset that all the new hair products P&G invests in and rolls out each Olympic season are now not coming out till next summer.
If there is one sport sweeping across the JCC this year, it’s pickle ball. There are leagues all day, and Mike reports it’s the fastest growing spot since mahjong. But don’t tell this to Anton Loon. “That sport is a disgrace to all racket sports,” Anton said at our last commission meeting. “If I want to see old ladies move around and flail their arms, I’ll go to the pool and watch their aerobics class.”
Props to Gig who once again dominated the Reds fantasy camp back when we all thought baseball was going to be played this spring. Gig is the Satchel Paige of Reds fantasy camp. (Speaking of Satchel Paige if any of you subscribe to the Athletic web site, and you all should, they are doing an amazing series on the top 100 baseball players of all time. Paige was #10)
Never to miss a Phish show, Scott “Shorty” Adams went to Mexico to see them this Jan. What’s most amazing about this is he had some attractive woman with him. I guess the drugs must have been REALLY good in Mexico for that to happen
Speaking of vacations, Jerry “Doc” Kirzner will have a new nickname this season. It will be “Gilligan” as he has been on a cruise ship for at least a month as of this writing. Fortunately, no one is sick and his son reports that they have the run of the boat and are steaming to San Diego where they might have to stay on the ship for a couple of more weeks. Either way we are glad he is ok and learning how to canasta or whatever it is 70-somethings do on a boat for that long.
Former softball player and current master chef at the JCC café, Drew “Kung Fu” Hayes, earned his black belt in whatever type of martial arts he practices. Way to go Drew. Now please make our pizza faster.
It was good to see Zach “The Wild Horse” Zackem at the Adath Israel Purim carnival. While it was odd seeing him dressed up as Queen Esther, he was doing a great job at the picture booth helping all the grandparents figure out how to print pictures or turn them into magnets.
The entire Lefton family has stayed busy this off season. And I’m not just talking about Jimmy and Rick. “Big” Al(ex) Lefton has been all around the world it seems while trying to cheer on OSU basketball (who cares about OSU basketball) and Grace Lefton was a huge help to the UC sponsorship office during basketball season. Plus, I think like 8 or 10 other Lefton kids either were born or graduated from high school or college. There are too many to keep track of.
Dee Harris posted a picture of Griff in his UC club baseball jersey the other day which got a post on Facebook showing old team pictures of Dee and the Lefton brothers from the mid to late 70’s or early 80’s. One team was named Hot Bagels. Not Marx Hot Bagels, just Hot Bagels. Not since Chico’s Bail Bonds has a team had better uniforms. I want Homage to come out with vintage little league jerseys for adults.
On the same picture thread, Duffy Wolf has a picture with of all people Sandy Koufax when Duffy was in little league. I really have nothing to add to that other than how cool is that?
Finally, we all know that David “BP” Snyder and Albert Weisbrot are great singers. BP sings in Temple and busks on the street outside GABP after Reds games for pocket change and we’ve all heard Albert sing the National Anthem at Reds, UC and JCC Softball games over the years. We can now add Roger “WH” Rosenthal to that list. While on a cruise earlier this off-season Roger wanted to honor his favorite all time singer and 2019 Rock N Roll Hall of Fame inductee Whitney Houston and performed Greatest Love of All to his wife, Carol. While League notes doesn’t have the audio (yet) the plan is to get Roger to sing it again one night at Silver Spring House later this summer.
Stay safe everyone. Do your part to stop the curve so that we can get the season in this year.
Marc